It Started As An Itch
by cursedestlin
Summary: Holly's thoughts and actions before, during and after her ambush on Gail. A 5x10 piece.
1. Chapter 1

It started as an itch. Barely noticeable and if she really put her mind to it, she could ignore it.

It started last night when she accidentally saw Gail leaving the market. She hadn't meant to stare but there was something about Gail's strut that always brought out her primal urges and this time was no different. However, tonight, on top of the urge to jump her ex came the pang of loss that she couldn't shake. It never left her that night as her sheets tangled around her restless form nor the next morning when she intentionally drove six blocks out of her way and left for work an hour early just to sit outside the coffee shop she knew Gail loved, hoping this would be one of the mornings she stopped by.

"Damn," she swore when she caught side of Gail making a dash inside for the caffeinated goods. If her heart skipping in her chest and the way she stretched her spine in her seat to give her a couple more inches of height so she could lay eyes on Gail for just a second more wasn't evidence enough, Maggie, the perfectly lovely, energetic and witty woman she briefly and disastrously dated was right. She wasn't over Gail. She slumped back down in the seat of her car and shook her head as she drove away.

Holly's mood hadn't improved by the time she reached the office. If anything, it had gotten worse. The itch and the ache were constant companions now, making her uncomfortable in her own skin. Making it hard to breathe. 'How dare she!' Holly fumed. She didn't do this. She wasn't this girl. _Gail_ was supposed to be the one making up excuses to see _her_.

Holly wasn't supposed to be the one grabbing a random blue folder from the yet to be filed stack on her desk and storming past her intern that was trying to hide her smirk, knowing exactly where her boss was headed.

She wasn't supposed to lose hours at a time from her very busy days remembering the way Gail made her breathless every single day they were together whether it was from a fit of laughter when Gail pinned her down on the couch after discovering Holly's extremely ticklish sides or when she grazed her teeth over the inside of her knee before kissing her way up her thigh and into the heart of her, sensually teasing and pleasing her until Holly was deliriously light headed and out of breath. She'd even taken her breath away with her words, exposing herself and her sensitive side in the most appealing and attractive way – a way Holly was positive nobody else ever had the privilege of seeing.

Those were the thoughts thawing and gnawing away any intentions she had to confront Gail in an effort to find some closure. Those were the same thoughts that sent her heart racing and made her lungs feel as if they'd burst if they didn't get to breathe the same air as Gail once more.

"Gail!" she called out impatiently, spotting a flash of platinum blonde hair as she made her way down a familiar corridor. Gods. Why did she have to look so fucking sexy in that uniform? Her heart sank a little at Gail's confused and guarded expression. She rattled off an excuse to get Gail to follow her into an observation room, hoping her voice hadn't given away the desperation she was feeling. She was so close now. She took a steadying breath as she cleared the doorway. If she could just hold on for a few more seconds she might be able to do one of the things with the quick tongued officer she'd missed most.

'Want. Have. TAKE!' Those three things were louder than anything Gail was saying about that damn blue folder. In a rush of passion Holly spun on her heel, taking Gail by surprise by grabbing her duty belt with one hand and with the other, sinking her fingers into the soft skin at the nape of Gail's neck before pulling her in for a frantic kiss.

Gail squeaked out a surprised moan before sinking into the fevered kisses and returning them with a ferocity that rivaled Holly's for just a few brief seconds before gently pushing her away.

'Evidentially I wasn't the only one that missed this – missed US,' Holly mused before her thoughts were jarred by the burly man she could clearly see sitting at the table in the interrogation room just a few feet away and who seemed to be staring right at them.

Gail was confused, and rightfully so after their last interaction. Holly opted for honesty and was swiftly rewarded with a flash of possessiveness in the blonde's eyes before she was pulled into another toe-curling kiss. Gail eagerly sucked at her lips, thrusting her tongue between them before quickly and deliciously sucking Holly's back against hers. Holly felt herself being turned and was pretty sure the way Gail was kissing her that her back was about to be up against the wall in the best way possible. Instead, Gail pulled away again. "Wait. Wait, oh my god, wait," she whimpered in direct contradiction of her body language that was screaming 'go, go, go!'

The words were falling out of Holly's mouth before she ever had a chance to stop them. An invitation. Dinner. Wine. 'Please say 'yes'. Please say 'yes!'

Wait.

A thing?

?

'Oh, shit. No.' Holly silently begged to whatever deity that might be lurking. She kept her response nonchalant though she internally kicked herself because she had no right to be upset if Gail had 'a thing' with someone else. Right? Why wouldn't Gail have 'a thing' with someone that's not her, as heart crushing as that may be?

Tomorrow? Yes. Tomorrow was good. But.. there was still 'a thing' tonight?

It didn't matter. It couldn't. Tomorrow was great. Fabulous, in fact. She could live with tomorrow because looking forward to seeing Gail was a problem she could happily deal with for the rest of her life and just maybe she could get her shit together by tomorrow, instead of jumping Gail like some lovesick lunatic. She smirked to herself as she exited the observation room. Lovesick lunatic suited her just fine, actually.

Her newly regained optimism drained a little as the day passed and turned into a cold dread that rolled through her stomach unpleasantly. 'A thing'. Why couldn't Gail have just come out with it? Then again, why should she, she reminded herself.

Feeling slightly calmer she reached for her phone, shooting off a quick text before she could talk herself out of it.

_Sorry about ambushing you earlier. I just really wanted to and still want to see you._

She let out a sigh of relief when she almost immediately saw the dialogue bubble pop up on her screen as Gail typed her reply.

_I wish every ambush could be that pleasant, Lunchbox._

Holly would be lying if she said that response didn't make her so giddy she nearly wept. Gods, she was a sap for this woman. She wanted to respond with something quippy, but couldn't settle upon anything. She decided to play it cool – see if Gail initiated any other communication with her. She was doing pretty well if she did say so herself – only checking her phone once every three minutes - when she overheard two officers dropping off some evidence discussing how the rookie at 15 managed to trigger the timer on a bomb.

She wrestled with the urge to rush to find Gail before remembering what had happened the last time she assumed they were in the same place and knowing that nothing was really settled between them right now either. She reached for her phone again.

_I understand if you say no, but I just heard some passing conversation about a bomb and your division and I really want to see you._

Seventeen minutes slowly ticked by before she received her response, her heart racing when her phone dinged to notify her of a text.

_Ok._

She reached for her jacket, swinging it around to pull it on as she texted back.

_Really? Okay?_

Almost instantaneously she heard another phone ding as she hit the 'Send' button and her head shot up as she saw Gail coming around the corner towards her lab. Gail glanced at her phone, a mock look of indignation as she read Holly's reply. "I said 'ok', nerd," she challenged, her palms up and held out at her sides as she smirked slightly at Holly.

Holly was quite sure she'd never felt so many emotions surge within her at once. Without a word she grasped Gail's hand, threading their fingers together as she pulled them through the lab and into her office, closing the door behind them before pulling Gail's body against her own, wrapping her arms tightly around her.

Gail instantly returned the embrace, sensing that between the rushed and uncertain reunion in the observation room earlier and the news about the bomb, Holly was feeling more than just a little unsettled.

Holly pulled back from Gail only far enough to let their foreheads rest together. She sighed heavily, her arms dropping from Gail's shoulders to her waist. "I really missed you," she repeated with a whisper, trying to not let her feelings overwhelm her completely.

Gail drew her head back and brought her hands up to cradle Holly's face. "I missed you too."

They held each other close for a few more minutes, relearning and remembering how good it felt to hold and to be held.

"I have to go," Gail admitted. "I can't be late.."

"For your thing," Holly finished for her.

"Yeah," Gail nodded slightly, noting the way Holly seemed to withdraw at the mention of it. "Look, it's not what you think."

Holly searched Gail's eyes. "It's not?" she ventured carefully before swallowing uncomfortably. "I understand if you're seeing someone." And she did understand. It just made her ache to do so.

"I'm not," Gail reassured her. "And I haven't – dated anyone," she slowly volunteered, "since you."

Holly smiled in spite of herself, a huge weight lifting off her chest. "We're idiots," she confessed wryly.

"Awesome idiots," Gail corrected, returning the smile. As much as she hated to leave this moment and Holly's arms, she didn't want to be late for her meeting with the social worker. "I really do have to go."

Holly nodded, reluctantly letting Gail go. She took a step back. "This thing you have tonight? It's important," she correctly presumed. Gail nodded her head. "Will you tell me about it tomorrow?"

Gail's smile grew exponentially. "Yes. I have a lot to say," Gail pulled Holly back to her and placed a sweet kiss against her lips that Holly smiled in to. "See you tomorrow," she whispered, her lips brushing against Holly's as she spoke.

"Tomorrow," Holly agreed, kissing Gail once more before letting her go.

"Best ambush ever," Gail called out over her shoulder as she made her way through the lab and towards the exit. She checked the time on her phone, quickening her step. She didn't want to be late, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so tickled by every review, follow and favorite. It's an unexpected delight! I hope we're not all disappointed with 5x11, but that's kind of the beauty of places like this. To write (right) a wrong!

* * *

_U awake?_

Holly grabbed her phone, a pleased smile forming when she saw the "Officer Crankypants" was texting her after her 'thing'.

_Yep. What's up?_

Her smile grew as her phone lit up and Gail's staged and silly grin filled the screen. "Hey!" she greeted, excited to have more contact with the person that was firmly implanted in her thoughts more and more lately.

"Hey," Gail responded only slightly less enthusiastically. Holly could hear the tiredness with just one word.

When the silence stretched for longer than a pause, Holly's smile fell away and was replaced with a concerned frown. "Gail? Honey, what's wrong?"

Gail quickly responded. "There's nothing wrong, really. It's just I had that thing.. And I wanted to talk to you about it and I didn't know if it was okay to call. Or not," she rambled.

"Come over," Holly invited.

"It's late," Gail reasoned.

"That's never stopped you before, Officer," Holly countered, her lopsided grin returning when she heard Gail scoffing. She'd missed this. Missed the easy banter and the way Gail only pretended to resist.

"Okay," she agreed softly. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Do you need anything?" she offered.

"Just you," Holly answered without the slightest pause. She was certain she could actually hear Gail's smile.

"Nerd."

"Dork."

"Don't call me your family names!" Gail sassed before hanging up, leaving Holly to chuckle as she put her phone down.

Holly was just finishing popping the caps off a couple of beers for herself and Gail when she heard Gail's knock on her door. She quickly moved to open it, standing in the doorway and holding both the beer and the key to her townhouse out and not moving until Gail took both. Gail had returned the key a few weeks ago, simply slipping it under her door without even knocking.

"Are you sure?" Gail questioned, running her finger over the familiar dips and ridges of the piece of metal between her fingers and feeling the literal and figurative weight of the simple object.

"Yeah, I might need you to water the plants and bring the mail in again. Or something," Holly offered nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders, not making a big deal of it – much the same way she had accomplished giving her key to Gail the first time without sending the skittish woman running for the hills.

Gail gave her a rueful smile and slipped the key into her pocket without any further discussion and followed Holly into the living room, kicking off her boots before plopping down on the couch next to her. They sipped their beer in mutual silence, letting their nerves settle before turning to face each other.

"Hi," Holly offered softly, reaching out to smooth the pad of her thumb over Gail's eyebrow. It was a familiar and intimate touch that relaxed them both.

"Hey," Gail breathed out, closing her eyes and leaning further into Holly's hand. It was now or never, Gail resolved. "Do you remember an accidental homicide a few weeks ago involving the Jameson gang? There was a shooting and an innocent woman caught a bullet through the ventilation system?"

"Trina Walker," Holly nodded.

Gail's eyes grew with sad interest. "Wait. Did you do the autopsy?"

"No. I only know the details of the case.." she drifted momentarily before remembering full disclosure was best with Gail. "I only know the details because you were involved in it," she confessed. "I kept up with any case that you were involved in that ended up in my neck of the woods whether I worked it or not. It made me feel like I was still a part of your life – even if it was from a distance."

Gail's face softened at Holly's confession. It wasn't the first time she'd felt like an idiot for wasting time being mad at herself, mad at Holly and at Holly's friends when she should have confronted her and all the feelings and insecurities that Lisa's jabs at her professionally and personally had brought up to the surface. She still needed to face them, but telling Holly about Sophie was on the tip of her tongue and she couldn't ignore it any longer. She expelled a shaky breath to quell the surge of emotions evoked in Holly's simple statement. She leaned away from Holly long enough to sit both their beers down on the coffee table and reached for Holly's hand, threading their fingers together before looking her dead in the eye. "We _will_ talk about that night and get everything settled," she promised. Holly nodded in agreement, squeezing Gail's hand in gentle reassurance that they'd figure things out. Together.

"I was the one that found Trina that day. Diaz and I were going door to door, trying to find anyone that was willing to talk about the guy we found in the stairwell. I don't know if I smelled blood or if I heard her struggling to breathe. I almost walked right past the door to the laundry room without even checking it. She was there, face down in her own blood. I rolled her over and she grabbed my jacket and kept repeating a name. 'Sophie'. I thought she was trying to tell me who she was but I didn't understand until later what she was trying to do. I fucking complained to Chris that she bled on me, Holly. Who does that?" Gail paused, angry at herself for being so unbelievably petty and jaded. She went on without expecting Holly to answer. What could she have possibly said to make Gail's behavior better anyway?

"We tried to find out who she was. She wasn't carrying any identification and of course nobody in the building remembered her and then Diaz told me she didn't make it and it bothered me that this woman caught a bullet and died and all she was trying to do was fold a load of laundry. There weren't any keys with her belongs so I went back to the laundry room to see if I could find anything. I found them between a couple of washers and just as I fished them out, a little girl came into the room looking for her mom."

"Sophie," Holly guessed by the way Gail's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Gail confirmed it with a sad nod.

"This little girl went to school one morning and came home from her friend's house that afternoon to find her entire world was destroyed. And I know I should be used to it or not let my personal feelings get in the way, but god, Hol, how am I supposed to do that when I'm the one that has to tell this precious little girl that the world did something so ugly and awful to her and her mommy is never coming home again?" Gail choked out, immediately sinking into Holly's arms as she was quickly pulled into an embrace. She'd craved Holly's comfort for weeks and being able to finally release everything she'd held in was like a damn bursting free inside her.

Holly would be lying if she said she wasn't worried. Never had she seen Gail so raw and exposed and.. broken.

Eventually Gail started talking again, her voice hoarse and soft. "I don't know why this one stuck. Maybe it was because I knew how it felt to be content and happy and _loved _one day and then to lose it all and feel like there was nothing left."

'_So, this is happening,'_ Holly realized, trying not to feel overly defensive. Trying to let Gail express how she felt like a victim when she had more than equally contributed to their split.

"That stuff that Lisa said? It was everything I'd already been telling myself. It was everything my Mom would have snidely implied and then pointed out with delight in case I missed it. It was everything that Dov and Chris already teased me about and everything I was already freaked out about but thought I could get through because being with you made me better. You made me brave and loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."

"You couldn't have trusted me very much if you never even wanted to hear my side of it, Gail," Holly pointed out, gently putting some distance between herself and the blonde. "And I didn't make you anything you weren't already. I didn't make you better because you're already amazing and it's not fair to build me up like I'm perfect and unattainable because the only direction I can go is down. I'm human, honey. I fuck up. I fuck up and people get hurt. You got hurt.. but, you never once considered that you intentionally hurt me that night too."

"Yes I did!" Gail defended. "That's why I couldn't talk to you. On top of being exactly what Lisa said I was, I hurt you. I didn't deserve the chance to make that right with you."

"But _I_ did," Holly fought back, seeing how deeply Gail's scars ran and how fresh they still were. "I deserved the chance to tell you that Lisa is an idiot and that those things you said about yourself aren't true. I deserved to hear that you didn't mean what you said, but you just shut me out and led me to believe that you did mean those things. We tell each other things, Gail. And your silence told me you didn't care to even try." Holly knew she was being harsh, but if they were going to have a shot at making things work between them, and she desperately wanted it to, Gail needed to do some growing up. "You can't run at the first sign of trouble and it's not fair to make me pay for all the shitty things that have been done to you and it's not fair to expect me to just take it because you've been hurt before. I can't carry us by myself. You have to be here for me just as much as I'm here for you. Otherwise, this isn't going to work."

"I know," Gail nodded. "I know," she repeated sadly, elated that there might be hope for them after all, and terrified that what she was about to reveal next would squash that hope. "I want to be with you. I want to do better. I _will_ be better," she promised.

Holly immediately knew there was a catch. "But?" she prompted, lifting Gail's chin and forcing her to look her in the eye.

"I met with a woman this afternoon," Gail began. "Her name is Laura Lee and she's helping me with the process to adopt Sophie."

Of all the things Gail could have said, announcing that she was trying to adopt a child was not one that Holly could have ever anticipated. "Wow," was all Holly could say. "Wow," she repeated, standing up and running a nervous hand through her hair, aware that Gail was watching her with clear apprehension in her eyes, terrified what her reaction would be.

After a few agonizing minutes of watching Holly pace from one side of the room to the other and back again, Gail stood up and moved to intercept her, grasping her by the arms and holding her there. "I know it's a lot. I don't expect you to.. I don't expect anything from you, Holly. I made this decision without you when I didn't think that I _could_ make this decision with you. But," she started hesitantly. "I'm not changing my mind about it, either."

When Holly still didn't respond other than to search her eyes, Gail let her go, folding her arms over her chest as if to protect herself. She glanced away. "I should go," she volunteered a moment later.

That seemed to do the trick as Holly's eyes flashed dangerously. "Oh, no you don't. You don't get to drop a bomb like this and then retreat," Holly argued, gripping Gail's arms still folded over her chest and guided her back to the couch and pushed her back down into the cushions. "This is exactly what I mean. This is huge for us, Gail! This affects both of our lives on a huge scale. Just give me a minute to process."

"Us?" Gail squeaked out.

Holly glared at her incredulously before taking a seat next to her, grabbing Gail's head and pulling her closer. "Yes. US! You gorgeous, silly, ridiculous, insane woman. Us." She was in the middle of giving Gail one of her trademark lopsided grins when Gail unleashed a furious attack against her lips, giving her no chance at all but to give into every delicious sensation when the blonde pushed her back on the couch and fully lay on top of her.

They were both aware that there was still much to discuss between them, but they'd somehow mutually agreed that they could handle a heated makeout session, if only to remind them how good it felt to be pressed together and maybe give them a little more motivation to hurry up so they could scratch that unique itch that only the other one knew how to do properly.


	3. Chapter 3

Holly sat in stunned silence as her Skype session ended.

This was happening.

She'd sent out one resume on a drunken whim five weeks ago when Rachel mentioned there was an opening at a prestigious and world renowned forensic center half a world away in San Francisco. This morning, still floating on a cloud of makeout induced haze from her evening with Gail, she was abruptly brought back to earth when a man whose work she'd followed religiously since she'd first heard the words "forensic science" all those years ago was suddenly calling and requesting to have a chat with her face to face (ish).

He invited her to fly to San Francisco at the end of the week for a tour of the facility and to meet with the staff and more importantly, to interview formally for a position there.

She was over the goddamn moon right up until her favorite blue-eyed blonde texted her and she came crashing back to work for the second time in the space of a couple of hours. If this morning was any indication of how the day was going to go, she was in for a hell of a day.

_Can I ask you to give me your medical opinion on something? _

Holly responded immediately, her curiosity piqued.

_Of course!_

_Is it medically possible for one to speak intelligently when their head is up their ass?_

She should have known there was some sort of shenanigans involved. Holly snorted in amusement as she texted her back. _Asking for a friend?_

… _mehbeh._

Holly couldn't help but to chuckle. Before she could respond, her phone chimed again.

_Can't stop thinking about the way your breath hitches when I find that spot behind your ear with my mouth. It does things to me, Hol._

Holly was grateful no one was around to see the heat rise in her neck, her cheeks joining in the pinking surge of desire. Her easy smile slipped away when she remembered she had something important to share. She quickly texted her favorite officer back and arranged to meet later and spent the rest of the day nervously anticipating the conversation they needed to have.

She was so intent on distracting herself that she actually succeeded in making herself late in leaving the office, cursing herself as she twisted the key in the lock and her front door pushed open at her insistence. She quickly discarded her work bag, shoes and keys by the door before pulling open the top drawer of her kitchen island and grabbing the first menu on the pile stashed there. She ordered enough food for four; confident that between Gail and herself there would be very little leftovers. She's doing a little tidying when she hears Gail's quick knock before she lets herself in and she meets the snarky blonde just inside the kitchen with a wide grin and a content purr when Gail's hands frame her face and pull her in for sweet kiss that's just seconds away from turning into something more serious.

They're reluctant to let go of each other. Gail gives Holly the smile she reserves just for her – open and caring and tender and full of affection – a stark contrast to the grim resting face she adopts for pretty much everyone else.

Holly can't help returning the smile with one of her own, the left side of her mouth pulling up just a fraction more than the right to present her trademark lopsided grin. She also can't help grasping the lapels on Gail's jacket to keep her close, though she needn't have bothered. Gail was in no hurry to leave the sanctuary provided by Holly's nearness. "I really like being able to do that," Gail confesses, her voice soft and sure.

Holly plays dumb, falling easily into the routine that was her and Gail. "Do what?" She presses her lips briefly against Gail's once, then again, the smile never leaving her lips. "This?" she quizzed, teasing Gail's lips once more.

"Holly," Gail warns, her eyes full of a seriousness that Holly would never get used to. It was the giddy, euphoric feeling that Gail's intense focus on her, on _them_ evoked every time Gail unleashed it. It was an apology, a longing and a promise all delivered just by saying her name.

"Me too," she returned equally sincere. Her grip on Gail's lapels loosened, one hand dropping to Gail's hip, the other lazily caressing the hair at the nape of Gail's neck.

Later as they're sharing dinner and Gail pushes her plate away in favor of anxiously rubbing her palms over the top of her thighs, Holly realizes that Gail has already picked up on what she hasn't said yet and Holly's not sure why she hasn't said anything about it yet. She knows that the more she makes it seem like a big deal, the more Gail will escalate her response.

Holly pushes her own dinner away and takes a discreet cleansing breath that doesn't go unnoticed by Gail. "Honey," she calls out soothingly.

"I know, Holly." Gail answers. "I know I shouldn't have walked away from you at The Penny," Gail begins preemptively. The blonde stands, gearing up to give her side of the story but is stopped when Holly's hand closes around her wrist and tugs her back down to the dining room chair vacated mere seconds ago.

"Sit. Listen." Gail obeys without a fight, her eyes searching Holly's for any signs that things were about to go tragically wrong between them again. "Cyril Baden wants to fly me to San Francisco on Thursday afternoon so I can tour his research facility with him the next day."

Gail's eyes widened, her jaw dropping a little in excitement. "THE Dr. Cyril Baden? Like, your lifelong-hero-slash-crush-slash-inspiration-for-getting-your-nerd-on Cyril Baden?"

Holly grinned in spite of herself. "Yes. That one." Dammit. Does Gail _have _to listen to everything she says and know her so well?

"That's amazing! That's so cool!" Gail crooned, leaning forward to hear more details, her genuine enthusiasm making Holly dread the pulling of the rug out from under Gail's feet and their tenuous stability that much more.

"It's also a job interview."

And there is was. That slow slide of smile to protected disbelief morphing quickly into a crushed acceptance, all in less than three seconds. "For a job in San Francisco," Gail surmised. Her tone was so careful and hesitant that it made Holly want to cry. Instead she nodded and suddenly a smile was back on Gail's face. The same forced and polite smile that Gail offered at parties thrown by Elaine Peck. "That's really great. I'm really happy for you. You must be really excited."

"Gail."

"No. Really."

"Gail!" Holly calls a little louder. "You just used the word "really" four times in four sentences," she points out.

"Oh, really?" Gail can't help herself. She puts her palms down flat on the table, getting ready to push herself up and out of her chair again, no doubt to run away.

"Gail!" Holly nearly shouts. "I'm telling you this now because you have a say in this!" Gail freezes at that, allowing Holly to continue albeit softly this time. "If you want to."

It's in that moment Gail can't stop her vision from blurring. Can't stop the shame and regret from swallowing her whole. Can't stop the hope from all but dying out. She can't be mad at Holly. Not for this. Gail certainly hadn't given Holly a reason to want to stay in Toronto. And who knows, even if things were going well between them, who was to say Holly wouldn't have applied for a dream job with the doctor she had admired for most of her life.

"It's really hard to have faith in us when you keep trying to run away," Holly admits as Gail sinks back into her chair.

"I wasn't going far," Gail promises.

"Just far enough that I can't reach you?" Holly guesses, her resentment slipping out a little. She didn't intend for this tonight and she realizes how foolish those intentions were. Of course Gail was going to respond exactly the way she was.

"I want to." Gail announces after initially flinching at Holly's not-so-subtle dig. The look of confusion on Holly's face prompts her to elaborate. "You said I have a say in this if I want to. I want to," Gail clarifies.

"Really?" Holly's hopeful tone and use of the word makes both women smirk. After a moment of shared silence, Holly goes on. "It's flattering just to have him be interested in the first place. I'm going to contact him tomorrow and let him know that I'm no longer interested in the position."

"That's crazy, Holly. Of course you're interested. You're going to that interview," Gail responded adamantly, looking beyond whatever it was she and Holly were. "This is an amazing opportunity and you can't just walk away from it. You've worked so hard and you're so passionate about what you do. You deserve to have that recognized and rewarded."

"Gail?" Holly couldn't really understand how rational and mature Gail was being about this. After her initial kneejerk reaction, she was being more than supportive. Where was this Gail eight weeks ago?

"Hol. We both made decisions when we didn't think taking each other into consideration was an option. We never determined what we are to each other, even before Frankentits opened her mouth. You owe it to yourself to see where this opportunity could take you."

Holly was silent while she contemplated everything Gail said. Her next words tumbled from her mouth like an itch that could no longer wait to be scratched. "I know what you are to me."

Gail smiled sadly. "I know what you are to me too, Lunchbox."

It was a stalemate. Gail couldn't ask Holly to ignore this huge opportunity any more than Holly could ever ask Gail to walk away from Sophie.

"Stay with me?" Holly pushed away from the table and reached out for Gail. She watched the internal battle rage momentarily, or maybe it was courage gathering. Either way Gail's hand found hers and they found themselves undressing as they made their way to Holly's bedroom, exchanging the uniform of the day for the uniform of the night.

Sleep took its time in finding them, but neither minded. Their limbs tangled and blended together, making it nearly impossible to determine where one began and the other ended. They spoke in whispers, discussing everything from Sophie's favorite place for ice cream to a book store in San Francisco that Holly had always heard and read about and was excited to actually visit. They joked about Alcatraz and invented their own scheme to break out Michael Scofield style, complete with the seduction of the attractive prison doctor who as it turned out, was pretty handy to have in case of a zombie attack as well. They talked about everything and nothing and it was the most important talk they'd had to date, but they left out discussing the impact each of their decisions would really have on each other. They couldn't chance the disruption to the intimacy they shared even if it didn't go any further than soft kisses and gentle caresses.

"You're not like a cat at all," Holly whispered, seeing that Gail was very close to if not already asleep. "You're more like a rash."

Without opening her eyes, Gail smirked slightly. "Jerk," she mumbled, letting sleep finally drag her away, Holly just moments behind her. Holly was certain about the woman in her arms. Certain about always wanting her there. The rest would have to be figured out.


End file.
